Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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