I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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