She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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