I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
