only you would photoshop your dick
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize