Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize