You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
