He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
