The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He had one of those small greek statue penises
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
