You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
