I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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