I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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