how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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