So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my sisters under your porch take her home
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
