Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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