Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
