exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
