Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
