Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
