You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
