i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
