I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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