I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
