Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
