How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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