After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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