That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize