yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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