didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
