Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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