Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
