wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
