do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
