whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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