The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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