Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
