so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize