we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
