I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
