I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
