hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
