I got her a Nickelback box set.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
