i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize