I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
