people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
