no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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