if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
