shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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