nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
