Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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