I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
