You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
