i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize