I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
