why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
