Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
