I think I am morally bankrupt
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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