My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
