spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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