I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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