If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
