TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
