Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
