Where did you get a picture of my penis
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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