After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
