sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
